Exams

math test today.

as usual, i struggled.

halfway thru the test when i was cracking my brains out thinking for the solution, something dawned upon me.

I REALLY AM LOUSY AT MATH. i'm just not... mathematical if u like. it took me a little long to realise it, but at least i finally did.

this integration is probably the test that i studied for the hardest, for i know that i cant afford to fail another one.

wad with doing all the supplementary worksheets and everything.

i do hold a tiny glimmer of hope that i will pass, but then again i have this niggling feeling that tells me im gonna fail.

maybe i have just failed so many times that this feeling has become a habit more than anything.

i certainly hope so.

on a hindsight, i'd rather fail because i did not study.

at least this doesnt tell me the cruel truth that i am not cut out for math.

at least it gives me a chance to hide behind the excuse 'i didnt study' whenever i fail.

at least it does not get me all demoralised.

if i do fail this test, which i think there is a pretty high percertage, the truth is staring me right in my face.

MY MATH SUCK. period.

******

on a side note, exactly one month from now, i will officially be free from the chains of exams.

even tho it will be 2h40min later than my history buddies,

1h40min later than my chinese buddies,

and a day later than almost everyone else.

but who cares. at least i am free. =)